Many people have heard of the phrase “silence is golden.” But is it so? There are times when silence is a good thing; however, too much silence in a marriage can quickly become something that can make your husband and you grow apart. Here’s why.
1. Silence is often misinterpreted – If you’re looking for one reason as to why silence isn’t the answer, this is it. When you stay silent, your husband or wife only has their mind speaking to them about why you are silent. Far too often, this results in misunderstandings because silence is usually misinterpreted under an assumption unless the air is cleared. When in doubt, ask your partner up front to avoid any confusion.
2. Silence sometimes says to your partner that you do not care about the relationship – Partners who are silent rarely mean to say this but try thinking about it from your partner’s point of view. Conflict in a marriage isn’t always a bad thing. Staying silent can send a message which says that you do not care which you probably aren’t intending to communicate.
3. Silence can make you lose confidence in your marriage – Often, either a husband or wife but rarely both is more articulate, better at arguing than the other. This might result in a partner staying silent because they feel like they’ll get out-debated. Every time this happens, it reinforces the idea that a person cannot confront his or her spouse. Remember that both of you aren’t enemies, you are teammates playing the same game.
4. Silence is sometimes used for abuse – Research has shown that children prefer to be yelled at than ignored. Purposeful silence is often a tactic used as punishment with some adults carrying this tactic from their younger years into their marriage. One of the harshest methods of punishment used to deal with dangerous criminals is called ‘Solitary Confinement.’ Hopefully, you can see the correlation.
Silence has its place just like everything but take a step back and see if it’s being thrown around too much in your marriage.