Life can be cruel when the person you married turns rabid overnight leaving you gobsmacked. In all likelihood, you will playback the times you were together wondering why you did not read the signs. The question therefore arises – what can you do and what should you do if your marriage is toxic. Here are some pointers.
Talk to your partner. Try to understand what went wrong. You could be misreading the signs. If nothing seems to work, meet a counselor who will help you analyze the situation and set your mind in order. You may be able to work out ways to deal with your partner. You can ask her/him to join you in counseling, if possible and try to mend fences.
Don’t Take Abuse Lightly
If your spouse is averse to counseling and throws a fit or is abusive with you physically, emotionally and other ways that inflict cruelty, call for help. It could be a helpline number, a friend, family or neighbor. The objective is to ensure that you have someone available to get you to a safe place. Also, do not ever believe that you can be used in any manner possible. Don’t.
Get legal advice. The lawyer will provide you with solutions to get out of the situation. It may take a long time, and expensive. The spouse may want to cause more damage. But stay the course you must. Provide adequate evidence and you should be free from the toxic force.
Toxicity is Not to be Excused
Do not make excuses for your spouse. If s/he is toxic, get help, call the cops if required. You are not someone’s plaything. Set the tone and get out of the situation as fast as you can. At the end of the day, no one signs up for toxicity in a relationship. When a relationship borders on cruelty and is toxic, always think of yourself and the kids. And, be on your guard.