Over the last couple of months Marqus and I noticed that we just don’t date like we used to. Either schedules (ours/the kids), childcare, health, or just pandemic paranoia has kept us right in this house on the couch more than usual lol. I asked our social media followers what they feel is the biggest contributor to keeping them in the house and the top hurdles were time, childcare, and introversion. Which, honestly, is ours too! How do you fix it? Well let’s start with a few tips.
- Schedule the time-We all have time allocated to everything else. Kids, job, workouts, etc. but where is the time scheduled for your spouse? When I look back on my current season, although I’m a work from home entrepreneur I’m horrible at this. I can get the boys to where they need to be with all that they need, I can be at the church for all that is needed and planned but there is nothing set for Marqus. The more I started to see this come to light the worse I felt. This is something that I am definitely working hard to fix. It can be something as simple as setting a screen time timer on certain apps. I started this last night and already saw how much more time I had at night that I thought I didn’t have. I challenge you to take a moment and really look at what all is on your plate vs what you really have on your plate. After this, set it as a weekly/monthly standing date. Before the shutdowns we would go out every Saturday as our local YMCA provided childcare. Although it was only a few hours it was nice to get back to Marqus and Kayla even if only for a little bit.
- Protect it-This time needs to be prioritized and protected at all costs. We make sure we get to school, work, kids activities on time so we need to keep that same energy when it comes to our spouses. So if the babysitter cancels, try to find another ASAP (we always have a backup lol) but remember every date doesn’t require you to be outside of your home.
- Be flexible-There are plenty of Pinterest ideas for stay at home date nights and companies that provide date night in a box. There have been times where we just couldn’t get out so we improvised and brought date night home. One of my favs was a late night run to our favorite restaurant for take out and a paint by numbers kit. Granted the kits are still in the kitchen pantry it was the time that was most enjoyed.
Busy schedules just mean re-evaluation of your priorities. I’m still struggling with finding the balance between work, home, wife, and Kayla but if I remember to keep the main thing the main thing the other things will fall into place. So make sure you are scheduling and protecting that time together also remembering to be flexible when things don’t turn out as planned.
Here’s an episode if your spouse’s love language is Quality Time: Love Language “Quality Time”