We all have a dream about the kind of partner we want to spend our lives with. Some of us are so endeared with just the concept of a perfect marriage that our spouse ends up taking the back seat. Some marriages are sacrificed at the altar of perfection every day, more than some of us realize it.
We all should definitely strive to make our marriage excellent, the best that we can. But setting unrealistic goals can be detrimental to the marriage in several ways:
- Those seeking only perfection are often rigid. They are unwilling to overlook even small flaws which do not have any major impact on a person.
- Most perfectionists are often teetering between anxiety of something not being perfect and relief that things are going according their vision. They fail to actually savor the happiness an understanding relationship may bring.
- In the chase for perfection, some people forget being kind, empathetic, compassionate or simply nice to their spouse. Their driving force is everything being in order and they are willing to sacrifice anything, even their relationship, to get what they want.
- When you insist on finding a person with all the qualities you want, you are often setting very unrealistic goals. It may be possible to find someone with most of the qualities you were looking for but not every single one of them. Chances are high that you will bypass your perfect life partner because he doesn’t wear the right tie with this shirt because in your eyes, he does not have the type of dressing sense you wish for.
- Obsessing about perfection can be taxing not just on the person on whom the demands are made but also on the person making the demands. Can you imagine the amount of energy you’ll have to spend to always monitor things around you and always push for the level of perfection you want? It is of course hard for a person to always bend to another person’s wishes and never having their way. So damages are suffered by both parties in this case.
It is important to remember that meeting someone half way on the little things in life can only help your marriage be warm and even fun, a novel experience for you. So without being a pushover on the important things in a relationship like loyalty and respect, let go of perfection and enjoy the taste of a successful marriage.