What can you do when your marriage is going downhill? Should you run for the hills or work at it, through counseling? Here are three things to do if your spouse is not agreeable to counseling.
Spend time together
Take time away from work and the kids. Be on your own for a couple of days to work things out together. Many relationships can work out this way. If one of you has met with a counselor, you probably know what tools to use. Include them in the conversation without getting too clinical, and your partner may see reason. The point here is to try and figure out a workable solution for the two of you and the kids (if any).
Take it to the Lord
Prayer has been known to work wonders. As you pray God, who knows what you want, and you will find a solution. Keep on praying, take a step at a time, the relationship will work. Marriage is not a bed of roses, it takes time, effort, love and companionship to get past tricky turns. Ask for help from a prayer group, if required and as you collectively lift up your problems to the Lord, He will set the relationship right.
Not a magic wand
Many people are of the opinion that couples counseling is a panacea that cures any chink in a relationship. When a spouse refuses to go, it is not the end of the road. Get past the resistance and work on a program that is beneficial. When a spouse refuses to go for help because of various issues find out what they are and work out a solution. However, if the spouse is not keen on working on the marriage, no amount of counseling will work.
Your partner may not be interested in outside help for many reasons, probably believing it to be bunkum. Being manipulative at this stage will not improve the marriage. Go alone and make changes without issuing an ultimatum.